The 2015 Ashes series is in full swing, and you have no idea what’s going on. People down the pub are talking utter gibberish, and you’re worried you’re going to get caught out like the cable-knit jumper-wearing phoney you are.
But fear not! FHM is here to give you a bullshitter’s guide to all that weird cricketing jargon…
The Ashes Urn
The trophy that the sides are competing for. The urn is said to contain the burnt remains of some bails or a stump and stands at a mere 11cm tall. Size doesn’t matter, after all…
The verbal abuse that cricketers hurl at each other. Lippy Aussie opener David Warner loves a word or two – particularly aimed at English golden boy Joe Root, who he punched in Birmingham’s Walkabout back in 2013.
The Umpire Decision Review System. Basically, a video replay. Players can call for a DRS review if they disagree with an umpire’s call; Australia’s Shane Watson has a reputation for his poor reviews.
Once the ball is old and scuffed on one side while it’s shiny on the other, it will move in the opposite direction in the air that it’s supposed to. In instead of out and out instead of in. Simple, right?
Not the bloke who didn’t let you into Yates’s last night; a bouncer is a short-pitched delivery bowled by fast-bowlers. Used well by Australia’s moustached menace, Mitchell Johnson, during the 2013/14 series Down Under.
Words: Adam Hopkins