Blue Monday, schmoo Monday. Just because the rest of the world is telling you it's a miserable day, it doesn't mean you should listen to them.
Here are 15 brilliant reasons why you should be happier than a kid in a sweet shop...
01 Tomorrow morning you could have Skittles for breakfast if you wanted to, and nobody could do a goddamn thing to stop you.
02 Star Wars VII starts shooting in two months. Neither Lucas nor Binks are invited.
03 Statistically, you'll have sex at least 4.9 times a month this year. Or you could save them all up and do it 58.8 times in December.
04 The whole "Keep Calm and [something bad and unfunny]" thing seems to be winding down. Not long left now.
05 Moore's Law states that the evolution of home computers has now slowed to a halt. So, finally, you brand-new laptop will no longer look shit within six months.
06 Bookies have England at 40/1 to win this year's World Cup; Brazil are 3/1. So let's all unclench, get drunk and enjoy it for what it is, eh?
07 Water balloons are fun.
08 House prices may be crazy, but gold is in freefall. Now is definitely the time to get yourself those rapper-style 36-inch chains you always wanted, yo.
09 Beanbags are fun too.
10 Later this year, the Simpsons will guest-star in a crossover episode of Family Guy. Almost makes up for the whole Brian thing.
11 Lewis Hamilton's R'n'B album should finally get released/leaked this year. Yes, that Lewis Hamilton.
12 You've won as many Oscars as Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio and Will Smith combined.
13 There's a very strong chance that some girl, somewhere, once twanged her banjo while thinking about you.
14 All movie posters should be like this.
15 Keeley Hazell is on the cover of this month's FHM.
For even more reasons to be cheerful, pick up the latest issue of FHM and put a smile on your dial.
Simpsons/Family Guy image via