Time for some more gems from around the globe that bring the reaction "WTF?!" or "Noooo wayyyyy!" Or maybe something more like "tit". Whatever your reaction, they all have the power to make your life seem really boring in comparison. Trust us, it's funnier this way.
Need a hand?
Richard Edwards of Louisville, Kentucky is the sort of lucky man to receive a double hand transplant. We say sort of lucky as it would have obviously been better if he hadn’t lost them in the first place when his truck caught fire. Edwards saw his new hands for the first time and exclaimed: “Ooh, awesome. I am a blessed man.” The doctor was able to form a fist with his left hand and can move the wrist and each finger in both hands. Though Edwards is unlikely to get his career as a chiropractor back.
Jack Leonard Hays was facing sexual assault and burglary charges and chose to represent himself, acting as his own defence attorney. At least he did until a few hours before his trial started. Hays fired himself as his own counsel during a court appearance. For months, he had attempted to be his own defence with only a certificate earned online and work in a prison law library as his legal experience. Probably the right decision.
Stop, hammer time
A man accused of grievous bodily harm with a hammer got a knock back from a judge while in Northampton County Court, Pennsylvania. After the initial charges of the attack were dropped against Christopher Vazquez, 25, when the victim failed to turn up, Vazquez directed officers to his flat to find the hammer. They also found some scales and a load of weed. “That’s something that Peter, Paul & Mary wrote,” President Judge FP Kimberly McFadden said, incorrectly. “‘If I had a hammer’…I don’t think they said I’d hit someone over the head with it.”
Hey doll face
Berlusconi's new PA didn't say much
A sad-faced businessmen couldn’t let his ex go, so had to use his initiative. The wealthy worker paid $18k to recreate her as a life-sized sex doll. The 50-year-old man put together a collection of photos of his ex and told Italian adult toymaker Diego Bortolin: “I want it just like her but with bigger boobs,” Italy’s Il Messaggero newspaper said. Mr Bortolin, who hasn’t named the man, creates extremely realistic sex dolls at the factory behind his shop in Treviso, Italy. “She was a smiling blonde girl, but he wanted bigger boobs and a curvier backside,” Mr Bortolin recounted. “Our normal dolls are very realistic and everything works just like the real thing. The dolls usual retail at $5k, but because this was a custom job it cost much more. We replicated everything. Right down to the shape of her teeth,” says Bortolin. Nice.
It’s art yeah?
An unlucky group of red harvester ants (pogonomyrmex badius) found themselves the subject of an art exhibit in New York recently. Artist Elizabeth Demaray has an exhibit of red harvester ants at a Manhattan art gallery. The arty twist being that the little bugs are fed on a constant supply of McDonald’s. The ants are set up in what looks to be a giant ant farm with a tube connecting them to an endless supply of hamburgers, fries and McNuggets. Demaray hopes that the exhibit will provide a commentary on how creatures of the world depend on us for food. At the press event most of the ants were reported to be dead.
Please insert card, explode
Andrew Adams, 63, of Swansea, a retired lorry driver and father-of-four received a loyalty card from Boots in the post, but the name on the card was not his but that of a ‘Dr A Suicide Bomber’. Mr Adams told newspapers, “I’m not a doctor and I’m certainly not a suicide bomber.” Quite right.
More Funny news on FHM.com:
1/ What do you like waking up to?
2/ The Lush goes to Billericay
3/ How to pull a lady: The Toff
4/ FHM Challenge: Breakdancing
5/ What? It's just a penguin going shopping...