Our mate Captain Morgan swung by the office (we’re starting to think we shouldn’t have given him the address – our workie found him making himself a cup of tea in our kitchen last week), and he told us about this radical beach party he was throwing.

An actual pirate captain? A party with free booze? Drinking on a school night? FHM cover star Laura Whitmore on the ones and twos? FHM Collections cover star Pro Green in attendance? And everyone drinking REALLY RESPONSIBLY? Effing brilliant.

The long and the short of it is that we drank a whole load of Captain Morgan’s rum, flirted with the captain’s lovely Morganettes, embarrassed ourselves in front of Professor Green, got turned down by the captain’s lovely Morganettes, told soldier-boy Jonjo off of the X-Factor that we thought he totally should have won, made air-horn sounds at Tim Westwood, were told to stay away from the captain’s lovely Morganettes, and fell asleep on the night bus home.

Oh yeah, and we found time to photo bomb the TOWIE girls too. BOOM.