There are two distinct schools of thought when it comes to Halloween. On one side you’ve got the haters. The 'oh I hate all this Americanised shit I just want to stay at home watching Doc Martin in peace without scavenging kids banging on my door every two minutes' people. But, on the other side, there’s the 'awesome this is a good excuse to dress up, drink blue liquids and carve faces which unintentionally end up looking a bit like that bloke off Channel 4 news into unsuspecting vegetables' folk.
GUESS WHICH ONE WE’RE IN
We're all for Halloween. Anything that makes it okay for us to wear make up, eat fun size Milky Ways ("OMG the fact it's so small just makes it way more FUN!") and watch scary films like Casper and The Back-up Plan is alright with us.
Which is why we got fully on board with the inaugural FHM Pumpkin Carving Competition. We even invited food artist Lennie Payne to give us some tips and show off his mad skills.
HERE'S WHAT HE MADE:
If a man holding a sharp blade tells you he's going to carve R-Patz's face, you don't argue
HERE'S WHAT WE MADE:
Pumpkin Badkat and Nelly the Pumpkin
The Only Way Is
Pumpkin Jon Moody (he's the one on the left, we think)
We were pretty pleased with our efforts. And then FHM Deputy Art Editor Adam Gerrard was all like "oh yeah by the way my girlfriend made me do another one last night, here it is..."
Which, clearly, is the best non-pie use of a pumpkin ever
We also asked you, the lovely pumpkin-carving readers, to show us what you could do.
HERE'S WHAT YOU MADE:
3rd place goes to Tracy M Hanley, for the wigged beauty. Tracy didn't name him, but we see a striking resemblance to our beloved Mayor of London. Boris Pumpkson anyone?
Well done Tracy M Hanley
2nd place goes to Kathryn MacKinnon for her 'Screaming Skull' design.
Well done Kathryn MacKinnon
But there could be only one winner, and that winner could only be Sunderland's Dean Liddle for his Mr. Potato Head pumpkin. "Here's my design. It took 2 hours 20 minutes. And a further 20 mins to find the hat and shoes from my sister's Mr Potato head toy. Dean liddle, Sunderland." YES Dean Liddle.
Very well done Dean Liddle
All three of you have won a lovely year's subscription to best magazine in the world FHM. And Dean, we're also going to send you a 'stuff lying around the FHM office' goody pack. It's got a toy 2012 Olympics bus and a limited edition (unsmashed at time of posting) 70cl bottle of Eristoff Black in it. It's mint. We're sad to part with it. But we love you. You're a hero. Just look at that pumpkin.
Honourable mentions go to Tom Lynch for his Batman pumpkin (we bloody love Batman) and Daren for this timely Movember carving.
Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman! (pumpkin)
To be honest, we were chuffed with how many of you got involved and sent us pictures of your pumpkin pals. So well done. Give yourself and your orange artwork a pat on the back. Those of you that Googled 'funny pumpkin' and sent us the first picture you saw on the Internet, pfft.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN PUMPKIN FANS!