The BRIT Awards: An annual showcase of fine musical talent full of boozing, singing, dancing and occasionally the odd bit of fisticuffs. Generally, it's a pretty good bloody doo, but we can't help think that it'd be slightly improved if a little more time was spent dishing out trophies and chocolate bars for some of these awards...

From stupid hats to amazingly sexy videos, we give you a round-up of who'd be winning at tonight's BRIT Awards if FHM were running the show...


Ridiculous Hat Award

Pharrell


Best Accidental Internet Sensation

James Blunt


 


Most Distracting Quiff

Alex Turner


Best Cult

  One Direction 


Best sporting montage soundtrack

Rudimental


Best Album That Was Nominated Despite The Fact That The Vast Majority Of The British Music Buying Public Probably Didn’t Buy It

  David Bowie


British Female Artist That Makes Us Want To Give Her A Cuddle (normal or sexy)

Laura Marling

Laura Marling


Most Awkward and Uncomfortable Moment Shared With a Public Figure 

Tinie Tempah


Most Spasm-Inducing Video of The Year So Far

Shakira and Rihanna - Can't Remember To Forget You


The Tinchy Stryder Award For Services To Surprisingly Little People

Bruno Mars 5'4"


Most Likely To Be Mistakenly Given Katy Perry's Award

Foxes

Foxes


The 'Nic Cage' Award for Looking The Same For The Whole Of Your Life And Dodging The Effects Of Time Hold On You're Definitely A Vampire

Pharrell