You know how it is when you're trying to ring your bank/phone company/internet provider and you get put through to five customer service reps, each more infuriating than the last, only to be put on hold for 45 minutes and then unceremoniously cut off when your blood is boiling and you're ready to crush the phone with your bare hands?
What would ease your pent up tension more in one of these situations? a) the power to make things spontaneously combust, b) a Swedish massage or c) a phone line that allows you to swear at the people on the other end until your murderous rage subsides? It's option C of course, doofus!
Vielen dank to the Germans who have created just such a service – Schimpf-los, which literally means 'Swear Away'. Now you can dial up and let rip for the small price of €1.49 (£1.18) per minute.
In celebration of this glorious service, we have selected the five best German swearwords to learn for when that rainy, ranty day finally arrives…
1. Cocksucker – Schwanzlutscher
2. Fuckwit – Armleuchter
3. Motherfucker – Mutterficker
4. Shithead – Kackbratze
5. Evil little bastard – Giftzwerg