He's been in some of manliest films in recent British cinema history, but is Jason Flemyng as much of a bloke as his roles make out? We find out as he takes the FHM Bloke Test.
01 Have you ever eaten a raw egg?
Yes, for protein. There was a period of time where I would put raw eggs into milk for protein. Now, I use protein shakes and bars. When I go poor again, I’ll go back on the eggs.
02 What’s the biggest thing you’ve set on fire?
I would say about two acres of woodland in the Czech Republic on a film called Viy. It wasn’t on purpose, though. We were doing a scene where a building burns down and, unfortunately, it caught the trees and it burnt the whole of the wood down. Someone beat that, I dare you!
03 Do you have a supermarket loyalty card?
I do. I’ve got Tesco’s loyalty card. That’s probably not very butch, is it? The reason I’ve got it is that, when I’m buying all the kids’ stuff, by the time it gets to Christmas, I get all my booze for nothing.
04 Have you ever thrown a punch and missed?
Yes, both in video games and at work. For stuff like X-Men, I probably had about 40 minutes of fight sequences with multiple attackers. I probably missed about 40-50 punches per day, for eight months. In daily life, I’ve never thrown a punch and missed it. It means I’m either a ninja or a lover.
05 Have you ever put your penis through your legs and pretended to be a girl?
Yes. I’ve done it clandestinely about three or four times in my life. I’m pretty confident that I’ve done it drunk and people have gone, “Oh my god, what are you doing?” I’ve done that a least once. Never on a film set, though.
06 Have you ever killed and then eaten something, not including a fish?
I was with Guy Ritchie and we killed a buck. Someone else shot the buck, but Nick Love and I hung it, bled it, skinned it and butchered and gutted it. Then I ate the leg at home with my wife. We had the gamekeeper teach us. It was pretty heavy but if you’re prepared to eat something, you should be prepared to butcher it.
07 Have you got any manly nicknames?
My wife’s family call me Juice, which I quite like. Her brother calls me Juice, as in orange juice. He first called me The Juice because I was so good at ten pin bowling when we all first went. It’s my ten pin bowling name.
08 Have you ever shaved a part of your body other than your face?
Never, because I know what the consequences are. Downstairs is a disaster and upstairs means prolific growth. If a bloke shaves his chest, it comes back tenfold.
09 Have you ever been banned from anywhere?
From Fresh and Wild in Clapham. It’s a wholefoods health shop. The smoothies are absolutely extortionate. I’d got a lot of stuff and a smoothie and I thought, “I’m not paying that, I’ll just confidently walk out with it” and I confidently got by the security guard and got taken into the back like an impoverished student and was told that I was no longer welcome in Fresh and Wild. So, yes, I was banned for stealing a smoothie, which I regret to this day.
10 Have you ever successfully stared someone out?
I tried to stare out Stephen Merchant on the set of I Give It A Year and it was impossible because Stephen Merchant, even with a straight face and not speaking, puts me into hysterics. It’s impossible to stare him out. It’s not because of his face, he’s a very good-looking man. There’s just a naughtiness in his eyes.
11 Have you ever been kept behind at airport security?
Yes. In Athens, I’d put my passport in my bag and checked it in, so it was in the hold. This is pre-9/11, I might add. I couldn’t get through Passport Control because I didn’t have a passport, so I ran through. I just ran through and they didn’t bother stopping me. When I got to London, I had to go to Passport Control and go, “Listen, the thing is…my passport is in my bag, which was in the hold, which is now on the conveyor belt and I can go and get it and bring it back.” They asked, “Well how did you get in?” and I said I ran through at Greece and they let me through after 25 minutes. So I flew from Athens to London without a passport. I was about 18, so I might have been a little drunk as well.
12 Have you ever screamed like a girl during a film?
Yeah I have. I scream like a girl quite a lot in films. I went to see Woman In Black. It’s brilliant and there’s a scene where the woman appears at the window. I literally screamed like a girl. In Let The Right One In, I screamed like a girl and my popcorn launched out of my hand and landed two rows in front.
13 How do you behave at barbecues?
I always take over everything. I’m actually pretty good at it. Lighting fires in one of my things, as you can tell already. I get newspaper and put it into knots then add more and more bits of wood. I don’t use firelighters or petrol. And I’m pretty good at keeping it within the confines of a barbecue mechanism.
14 What’s your favourite smell?
Petrol, funnily enough. I love filling up the car and getting a right old whiff of it. I use it as aftershave. When I’m filling up the car and I get a bit of it on my hands, I just rub it on my neck. Not petrol, none of that British petroleum premium stuff. Diesel. Proper diesel.
15 Have you ever puked whilst walking or running?
I puked whilst working out with Jason Statham. How’s that for manly? There’s a thing called EPOC training, which is horrendous. It’s what all the American stunt guys do and, obviously, Statham. It was in a proper gym, not one with cappuccinos and copies of FHM. It was a down-and-dirty gym and there’s a stain on the wall that’s still there. Statham just laughed at me.
It can't be denied, Jason. That's pretty bloody impressive. Technically, if this was in the mag, you'd be joint first with Ross Noble and Morgan Spurlock. But as this is the second FHM.com Bloke Test, you've gone straight to the top of it. Congrats!
I Give it a Year is out now on DVD and Blu-ray now.