North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il had a heart attack on a train at the weekend. When the passenger alarm grumbles died down, the puns began...
Channel 4's funky sock-wearing newsreader was one of roughly the whole population to make this joke:
Curmudgeonly comedian Jack Dee used the exact same pun, but made a slightly different gag. Tonnes of people bleated about it being "their joke first", which is a bit like saying you were the first one to realise Justin Bieber is a twat.
Well-spoken quiff-haired comedian Jack Whitehall came up with something fractionally more original, but still not quite launching a roflcopter:
TOWIE's Jessica Wright inadvertently showed her support for Kim Jong; maybe they were Sugar Hut drinking buddies:
Man United's tireless South Korean midfielder (or a parody account, at least), made an interesting discovery:
Another parody account, meanwhile, reminded us all of Kim's finest hour, in Team America:
When we spoke to Russell Howard about the news of 2011, the first thing he mentioned was 'The Ramsey Curse'. "The last time Aaron Ramsey scored, the next day Bin Laden died. And then the day before Gaddafi died, Ramsey scored again. So he's kind of got this link to evil people. The next time Ramsey scores, who will drop? I've watched him since, and whenever you see him near the 25-yard-line you're like, 'Ahmadinejad is shitting himself'. When he hits the bar Mugabe wipes his brow."
It turns out Ramsey's powers are even stronger than Russ realised - he hit the post at the Etihad yesterday and it was enough to polish off Kim Jong, as spotted by Arsenal Statman:
Back to the puns, courtesy of sickipedia:
Anyone who's seen Damn You Auto Correct! will know there are lols in predictive text:
Danny Wallace had been keeping a keen eye on the news:
And finally, BBC Radio Leeds sports reported Jake Katborg took a break from analysing Leeds' inevitable winter slump to share this peach:
So there you go. Rest in peace Kim Jong Il, eh Jess?