We run down some witty, insightful or just plain stupid quotes from 2011. Because we're fun like that, you know?

Charlie Sheen

“I am on a drug. It's called `Charlie Sheen.' It's not available because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." In a February interview with ABC news

Charlie Sheen's increasingly public meltdown soared to ascendancy and crashed quietly behind the sofa over a few months, but his legacy lives on in the psychedelic word-salad babble that he spouted whenever he was awake, and on occasions, when he was asleep. 

Geoff Hurst

“England will never again win the World Cup in my lifetime.” 

Oh. Well, cheers for that, Geoff. That's us out of the running for another 8 years at least, assuming he dies at the average age. But he'll probably go on living just to spite us.

Lily Allen

Lily Allen
Photographer-spotters lined up for a shot of the man who would take a picture of Lily Allen

“Now I love Jessie J as much as the next person, but how is her music of ‘black origin’? It is cause she says ‘man dem’ in her tune?” On Twitter

We're slightly more concerned about that face that Jessie pulls in roughly half the pictures taken of her. You know, the one that makes her look like she's shitting an entire breadbin out at once. Maybe she needs help with that.

Some guy in the park

"Fenton! Fenton! FENTON! FENTON! Oh, Jesus Christ. FENTON! Ohh, Jesus Christ. FENTON!" in the park, of a dog, called Fenton

No comment needed.

Enrique Iglesias

“Maybe I have the Spanish looks, but I have the smallest penis in the world. I'm serious.” In concert, in Australia

We spent a lot of our youth with the girls we were trying to get off with swooning over Enrique, so we really really really hope that this is true and he's not just making what he assumes is a joke.

Richard Keys

“Somebody better get down there and explain offside to her.” of a female linesman (lineswoman?) at a Wolves-Liverpool match

You stay classy, Richard Keys.

Sarah Palin


It's okay. Everyone feels bad about fancying Sarah Palin a little bit, you don't need to worry

“I love that smell of the emissions!” at a motorcycle rally in Washington DC

Hey Sarah, next time, maybe you could try “motorbikes” instead of "emissions", because that's kind of a hot topic right about now. Especially for that country you live in. You could also try “leather” and try to attract the fetish crowd, they're famously left-wing.

Johnny Depp

“Well, you just feel like you're being raped somehow.” On being the subject of a photoshoot in Vanity Fair

Johnny Depp should probably change his photographer because something's clearly going wrong here.

Hulk Hogan

Hulk Hogan and wife
Hulk Hogan and his new wife, Jennifer McDaniels. Good work there, Hulk

“Hulkmania should run over there, start dropping legs, start hitting people with big boots and just stop the action.” On the London riots, in an interview on BBC Radio 5

We're not sure how many rioters Hulk Hogan could take down, but we're betting it's around a metric shedload. He could just stand there and pull that serious frown he'd do on Hogan Knows Best, and around half of the crowd would probably go home in a mixture of guilt, fear, and dizzying respect.