From living it up with Kelly, Lisa and Jessie in Saved By The Bell's Bayside High to the chaos of Recess' Third Street School, the 9 TV schools you wished that you'd attended growing up...
09 Bayside High
Saved By The Bell depicted one of the most desirable high-school experiences ever seen. Who wouldn’t want to spend their school days in stonewash denim, knee-high sneakers and a tucked-in neon tee, with a personal harem of Kelly, Lisa and Jessie? Sure, you’d have to deal with Screech, but swings and roundabouts.
08 Bel-Air Academy
We’d have loved to have got in one little fight, if that meant we could have attended Bel-Air Academy, the school of Will Smith. How we dreamed of strutting the corridors with Will, shocking the snooty rich kids with our matching paisley blazers. Yeeeah! The streets, yo!
07 Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry
What could be better than a virtually lawless boarding school, which has PE lessons involving a violent blood sport and is filled to the rafters with magic-fingered fitties who are always up for sneaking off to explore the grounds with you? Plus, Hermione Granger (er, in the latter years, obviously).
06 Capeside High School
When you’re a self-obsessed adolescent with a groin full of hormones and the weight of the world on your shoulders, Dawson Creek’s Capeside High looks ideal. Plenty of troubled hotties to have ridiculously wordy conversations with, and lots of artistically lit lockers to bang your fist against as you fight back tears while sadface indie-pop plays in the background. All that and Katie Holmes before she shacked up with Tom Cruise and got all weird.
05 Hartley High
When Aussie teen soap Heartbreak High arrived in the ’90s it made every other TV school look like St Wussingston’s Weak-Kneed Academy For Mummy’s Boys. Drinking! Drugging! Impregnating! Kids living together in a cool warehouse despite having no apparent means of financial support! We so badly wanted some of that action, not to mention behind-the-bikeshed fun time with that blonde one with the 40-a-day voice.
04 Third Street School
Disney show Recess may only have been a cartoon, but it offered a weirdly accurate portrayal of the pressures and politics that make every school day a potential minefield. To conform or not to conform? To rebel or keep your head low? These are the soul-testing questions that keep 10-year-olds awake at night. That, and three-quarters of a bag of Haribo before bedtime.
03 Sweet Valley High
If you grew up in the ’90s and have an identical-twins fetish, you can probably trace it back to cheesy teen drama Sweet Valley High. The gist: blonde twins – played by the mesmerisingly fit Brittany and Cynthia Daniel – did something or other with their classmates. Adventures or some shit, whatever. The sole reason for watching was to construct increasingly depraved incestuous-lesbo fantasies in your disgusting head.
02 Constance Billard School For Girls
Alright, so attending the ultra-exclusive school depicted in Gossip Girl would’ve involved a series of painful sex-change operations, but it would’ve totally been worth it. You’d be rubbing well-bred shoulders with New York’s hottest, richest and dirtiest teen power-vixens, living a life of champagne binges and cat-fights. Of course, you’d be a lady, so you wouldn’t actually be able to shag them as you’d imagined... which is where this daydream falls apart.
01 Grange Hill
Every generation has a different memory of what Grange Hill was like. But really, there’s only one true golden age, and that’s the one with the flying sausage-on-a-fork in the opening credits. How we’d love to have attended an institution at which food regularly sailed through the air via the medium of lobbed cutlery. Is there any more awesome symbol of two-fingered teenaged idiocy? No. There ain’t.