Man City’s Italian prima donna Mario Balotelli got sent off last night as they crashed out of the Europa League. His manager, Roberto Mancini, was compelled to criticise the “stupid things” his £23 million man does on the pitch.

Well ‘Super Mario’ had better hope Mancini isn’t perusing FHM.com this morning, because if it’s stupid things on behalf of Master Balotelli you’re after, then this must top the lot.