Posted by Jordan Waller, 18 February 2014
After what seems like an absolute age of will-he-won’t-he moments, Mike Ashley is finally growing bored of his attempt at running a football club.
Cracking news if you’re a Magpie fan that's only made better by the whispers that wrestling tycoon Vince McMahon is interested in buying the Geordie club.
Here’s why Vince McMahon becoming the owner of Newcastle United would be the best thing to happen to the club in years.
01 Ashley's a skin flint, Vince aint.
Ashley’s money spinning plan was to sell the naming rights of the beloved St James' Park. The result was him using the ground as his own personal billboard and calling it The Sports Direct Arena, to promote the latest ‘closing down sales’ of his own shoddy chain of sports shops.
Vince on the other hand has no problem hurling cash at massive white elephants with seemingly little thought about turning a quick profit. See his XFL American football league and his bodybuilders league. If anyone’s up for throwing massive wads of cash at Newcastle United, with a complete disregard for consequence, it’s our man Vince.
02 Ashley doesn't talk to press and never engages with the fans.
Partly because they hate him and partly due to him being a thoroughly unlikable and totally disinterested buffoon.
Vince does everything in public and has – in the past – solved trade disputes by fighting employees in live pay-per-view events. He’s completely transparent with an eye for creating a spectacle and will doubtlessly bring in column inches and new interest to the club. Probably with the added bonus of turning the ground into a firework spurting colosseum of musclebound magpies.
03 Ashley surrounds himself with cockney blokes like himself. Alan Pardew. Joe Kinnear. Dennis Wise.
They’re boring ‘yes men’ that have handed over their entire spines to Ashley and don’t actually care about the success of the club at all.
Vince on the other hand surrounds himself with evil undertakers, giant men in facepaint and leprechauns. They’re not ‘yes men,’ they’re ‘fuck yeah men,’ that are the embodiment of the American Dream. Together they want to be big time and to succeed in everything – if they can’t put some fire into the club then nobody can.
04 Ashley doesn't go to games and doesn't know any of the players personally.
Ashley sees the club as a moneymaking venture rather than a passion. This would be fine if he was actually good at it but he isn’t and his reluctance to actually make an effort continually tests the patience of the fans.
Vince McMahon is intimately involved in the running of all his businesses and employs people who would run through brick walls for him. He has bled for them – literally – on numerous occasions. He also genuinely cares about giving the fans what they want and will actually listen to them. Something that Ashley and his iron curtain approach never did.
05 He does things like this.
And who WOULDN'T want to have this guy run their company.
We have teamed up with 888games to offer you FHM Casino. New members will receive £12 totally free (no deposit needed) to try the site. There really is nothing to lose…join here
If what you want is to meet your next girlfriend - or just a nice-looking lady to have some undercovers fun with - then look no further than FHM Single Girls.
Read More >>
Enter your email address & receive our legendary emails!
Terms & Conditions
Not registered on FHM.com? Sign Up | Sign In
Stephen Hawking has revealed that we could accidentally destroy the entire universe by manipulating the God Particle...
Your weekly does of everything brilliant, brainless, pointless and amazingly distracting on the internet right...
Awkward cheek kisses and failed fist-bumps are no laughing matter - unless celebrities are involved, that is...
This month, we were tasked with the greatest journalistic assignment in living memory: to test the most terrifying...
Our latest members...