It’s tricky getting the components of a picnic right. Firstly, you need the agility of boxer Floyd Mayweather in the fly-swatting stakes. Secondly, you need the sheer luck that the weather stays dry for a full hour. And lastly, you need the flexibility of a gymnast to sit comfortably crossed-legged for a prolonged period of time.
You’re on your own with the first two, but we can help with that last one: a quality blanket is a step in the right direction for any comfy, outdoorsy adventure. Get your hands on a mature option such as a fine virgin wool Filson number. You can even regale your date with stories of the brand’s colourful past; it was started by an American railroad conductor in 1897 during the Gold Rush, as he created garments for prospectors.
Alternatively, Barbour has your dignified, country-gent needs covered with its tartan iteration. Or, you can look like you’re sitting on the seat covers of a really classy train compartment – the kind where you receive free champagne and WiFi – with Mae Engelgeer’s geometric design.
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Dos & Don’ts of pitching your picnic
DO buy a nice blanket in advance. A beach towel just won’t cut it.
DON’T forget the cutlery. Ripping cheese with your unsanitised, muddy hands will not impress your dat
DON’T leave your rubbish behind. You know what else is fashionable right now? Not suffocating hedgehogs with crisp packets.
DO buy a bottle of wine. This will couple as a romantic gesture and an excuse for daytime drinking.
DO put your blanket in the shade so you can create the ambience of Brideshead Revisited and forget you’re next to the motorway in Coventry.
If a wasp turns up, DON’T try and impress your ladyfriend by swatting it away like a man with no patience for pathetic insects. It will sting the bejesus out of you.
Words: Calum Gordan
Photography: Rowan Fee