Until June 15, when you subscribe to FHM, you will get South Park: The Stick of Truth on Xbox 360 or PS3 for FREE.
Back in March, we sessioned the ‘most offensive game in the world’ for a good four hours to see what may have got easily upset haters all angry.
Here's what we learnt...
01 It’s basically Pokemon, but with electrocuting dildos.
Remember directing little Ash around your Gameboy Colour screen, encountering a little Weedle and battering it with your level 28 Charizard in Pokemon Blue?
Drop the map for the town of South Park, replace Weedle for all manner of South Park enemies, from aliens to Nazi zombie cats to Butters, and switch up Charizard for your own special moves, such as a stink bomb carpet bombing, poisonous farting or a whack from your electric dildo, and you get the idea.
02 Morning poops just got even better.
Don’t forget to visit the gents on a regular basis. Not to keep yourself regular, but to improve your battle arsenal. By dropping trou and mashing the A button, you drop a log that you can lob to gross out an enemy, making them puke and lose health.
03 This is the only game you’ll ever play where you need to dodge a pair of swinging testicles.
Unless you count that game you and your creepy mates invented in the school playground.
04 Europe doesn’t do UFO anal.
Big dick EU censors got so hot-under-the-collar with TSOT that they stepped in to remove a big chunk of gameplay.
Basically, they don’t like that part where you find yourself in a [censored] with character Randy Marsh, and he’s strapped to a table, prepared for an invasive procedure using a massive [censored], until it malfunctions and you make it [censored] over and over again. To get around the loss of the [censored] scene, a screen flashes up and describes the whole thing in proper gory detail.
Reading the joke is probably even better, especially when you read it out in the style of Charles Dickens.
05 You can fart your way to victory.
You thought the humble trouser grumble was a bad thing? Not here. They’re a lifeline. Learn to hone your sphincter skills many times over to help your quest in different ways.
For example, a Dragon Shout (a whopping great eruption of a fart) can hurt your enemies or blow up naked flames to open areas on your map. A Cup-A-Spell (farting in your hand and throwing it) distracts enemies so you can enter an area undetected. Sneaky.
Words by Chris Sayer