It’s now been a fortnight since the latest instalment of Football Manager hit the shelves and thousands of players are just coming to the end of the first season of their virtual careers.

While the game itself has undoubtedly improved over the years, the fundamental managerial styles have remained. Here is our guide to the eight types of Football Manager – which one are you?
 

The Loyal Supporter

Only ever manages the team he supports. Will give preference to players he likes in real life even if their virtual namesakes are utterly useless.

For years, this player has said he’d do a better job than his club’s real life manager and sees FM as an opportunity to prove it. He’ll slug away season after season, remaining loyal to his beloved club even if Real Madrid come knocking.

Will eventually become so engulfed in his game that it starts to blur his real-life view of football and suddenly that striker who bagged 30 in his 2016/17 Football Manager season will becomes his favourite player, despite his real-life counterpart having a worse goal record than Tony Hibbert.

The Consumer

Gets more enjoyment buying fresh talent than winning games. He’ll wheel and deal his way to building a brand new squad, offering potential signings extortionate wages to starve off competition.

Will jump ship the second it all goes to shit and restart the game after around five seasons.

Arguably the worst type of FM player going.

Globe Trotter

Football is a world game and this player wants to conquer it on every continent.

Once he achieves short-term success in one nation, he’ll flee to the next on his journey around the world. He'll eventually retire on a Caribbean island with his imaginary belly dancer girlfriend, living vicariously through his fictional footballing glories.

The Shankly

Managing every aspect with meticulous detail, this manager is a slave to the game and will have recurring dreams about formations and transfer windows.

As well as thorough research into potential signings, this manager puts hours in on the training ground and will even watch opponent's matches to get a better understanding of how to pick up three points in his next fixture.

The sort of person that conducts fictional Match Of The Day interviews while soaking in the tub.

The Glory Hunter

Picks Barcelona, Real Madrid, or another superpower and then lets his assistant sort out the tactics.

This manager might add one or two marquee signings in a feeble attempt to convince himself that he is the new Alex Ferguson, but deep down they know they're nothing more than a passenger.

That trophy cabinet does look full though.

The Promotion Addict

The "Special One" that starts the game with a side that’s recently been relegated and should win promotion at the first opportunity.

Once promotion’s been achieved, they’ll leave the club as a hero and seek new challenges with another team that’s just been demoted before jumping ship once more and repeating the system indefinitely.

Regular bursts of instant success that’s never enough and never a real challenge.

The King

The ultimate football manager, who chooses to be a Conference side to work their way up the pyramid until they lead the side to Champions League glory, at which point the game implodes on itself out of sentient respect for the achievements of this footballing genius.

Apparently this elitist club has thousands of members, the majority of who have their pants on fire and massive, long, wooden noses.

The Cheater

Creates multiple managers so that he can sell Carlton Cole for £300 million to Manchester City and buy Messi for a pound as he builds the ultimate team of superstars.

An absolute knobhead.

 

Words and meticulous late-night research by Liam Newman Follow him on Twitter here.


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