Come in! Sit down, put up your virtual feet and help yourself to virtual biscuits. Lovely. We're all friends here. We've got another week's worth of trailers, gags and kit of you to look over - so if you see something noteworthy in the world of games, don't hesitate to send it to email@example.com with the subject Gaming Roundup. We'd love it if you did. can we get you some more virtual tea? Excellent. Let's begin:
Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City gets a full cinematic trailer
We don't really give a toss about most cinematic trailers, but this five-minute epic is better acted and directed than most, if not all, of the franchises' full-length 3D films. The game's switching up from the normal Resi playstyle, and instead focusing on squad-based multiplayer combat between Umbrella Ops and Soldiery types in the aftermath of Resident Evil 2 - we're pretty excited, even though we fear the appeal might be a bit short-lived. Full multiplayer details are on offer here.
We're pretty sure this is what all PCs will be like in the future, just before they get small enough to fit in our brains
Computer wizards Razer have put together a prototype tablet which lets you play top-end PC games at ridiculously high quality - they're running Skyrim at Ultra High on it, at the moment - and they're estimating that it'll cost you less than a grand to pick up the finished product. Pricey indeed, but a lot cooler than a specialist gaming laptop - and not much more expensive, either. Reckon we could persuade them to send us one, for, y'know, testing? And stuff?
You can play Cut the Rope online now, if you'd like
Like all iOS games, Cut the Rope looks kinda shit in screenshots. But it's pretty good!
Cut The Rope is a charming (and pretty old, now) iPhone game in which you must feed a small lizard sweets using a) gravity and b) scissors. Confusing? A touch. But for those of you who don't have tiny touch-screened rectangles of future science in their trouser pockets, developers Zeptolab have put it online to play free. Well, for a bit, anyway - they ask you to use Internet Explorer if you want to get past level 3, which is hardly fair.
Ninja Gaiden 3's Multiplayer looks hectic. Maybe too hectic
Normal multiplayer games are okay, we guess, but Ninja Gaiden 3 ramps it up to an almost confusing notch. Your ninja - and a bunch of other ninjas in brightly-coloured pyjamas - not only get up to the standard spinny-flippy-stabby shit, but also break out fire arrows, exploding magic shouting, flight, full invisibility, and - curiously - honourable suicide. We're keen to see how stabbing yourself in the guts could prove to be an advantage in a deathmatch, because we haven't the slightest.
Are you ready for some GenkiBowl? We are
Saints Row 3 was possibly the most fun we had last year whilst wearing trousers, so it's good to see that the stream of DLC continues. Rather than costumes, weapons or vehicles, though, the GenkiBowl update features a host of new, ethically dubious "sports" from everyone's favourite Cat-Headed sociopath, Dr Genki. Apparently one of them involves a giant ball of wool steered across the street to grind mascots into a fine red paste. So, you know, yes.
Binary Domain looks... better than it did. Maybe
While we were decidedly unbothered by the footage of this title we saw at Gamescom - it plays a bit like Mass Effect, but you have to be nice to your teammates and tell them that they're lovely or they stop protecting you properly1 - this trailer entitled 'Bigger Than You Think' (which, incidentally, was our nickname at secondary school) made from gameplay footage and cutscenes is looking pretty snazzy.
We hope that there's plenty of giant robot action. We love us some giant robots. Also, why are there meat tenderisers on the end of their assault rifles? We just don't know. Answers on a postcard, please.
Skyrim, but like, now
You tired of people waffling on about Skyrim yet? Arrows in knees? Buckets on heads? Well, we're not, and neither are these guys who manage to put together a pretty solid approximation of what life would be like now if Skyrim was, well, real. Cracking stuff.
We touch people in Assassin's Creed 2
Every time Ubisoft release a new AC game, we immediately see if you can touch random passers-by in the street whilst doing an inappropriate voiceover. Latest release Revelations doesn't do it so well, so we returned to AC 2 and had a play with our new video capture hardware. And then we published the results on Youtube. Coming next week - taking unwilling subjects on hyperviolent "dates" in [PROTOTYPE]!
1 Wish we were making this up