Salt is Angelina Jolie's new action film, in which she plays a spy accused of being a double-agent, forcing her to go on the run and lots of stuff to blow up to keep things exciting. Obviously Angelina was there and she is a very, very beautiful woman. See her beautiful face. So beautiful.
But she looks a bit scarily thin at the moment. Why, Angelina? Enjoy yourself; have a pie. You're totally awesome, being mega-skinny will not make you awesomer. Be curvy again. Have some fun.
Looking totally superb at the premiere was Amber Heard. She's not even in the bloody film. She just turned up to look incredible and make everybody fall quite a lot in love with her. Look at the picture below and try not to fall instantly head-over-heels.
Couldn't manage it, could you? She's made of magic.
Whatever we write here now you're probably not reading it. You're just looking at the pictures, quite rightly. There once a girl who begat, three children called Nat, Pat and Tat. It was fun in the breeding, but hell in the feeding, when she found there was no tit for Tat.
Gibbon. Snorkel. Dental floss. Bassoon. Ginger ale. See, nobody reading anymore. Except you. We like you, you're the best one.
Watch a trailer for Salt, if you want.
Then enjoy these further girl stories from FHM:
1/ More pictures of Amber Heard looking sexy
2/ Angelina Jolie naked
3/ Katy Perry is topless
4/ Miranda Kerr models some sexy lingerie
And take a glance at this Amber Heard gallery. Great.