Some things are more interesting when they don’t speak… Harrison Ford, for instance. Marcel Marceau. The Dutch. Even astronauts: those fearless, god-like adventurers… who then appear in interviews and make the awe-inspiring majesty of space travel sound like setting the timer on a boiler.

On the other hand, there are some things that ratchet up the interest-o-meter by muttering a few words. A pigeon, for instance. Coma patients. Major deities. And now with her smart brain, lack of Hollywood diplomacy and penchant for conversational hand grenades, we can add one more to the latter category: Amber Heard.

During FHM’s bewildering interview she explains the cost benefit of doing nude scenes. She confesses to enjoying drugs, classic cars and older men – while bemoaning other girls, stupidity, and television. Oh… and God. It’s a wonderful thing. “It’ll be a sad day,” says the 22-year-old actress, “when I care what a stranger thinks of me and I curb my thoughts to get further with my career. Some day all I’m going to have is my opinions and my loud mouth.”

And another thing: the girl from Austin, Texas is smart. Not just because she sat reading The Portable Atheist, written by thirsty intellectual Christopher Hitchens, during breaks in FHM’s photoshoot. But easily smart enough to avoid being embarrassed by some of the crap she’s had to do on the way to the top. Perhaps there’s a future 100 Sexiest winner in our midst? She’s certainly got the figure and the face. She looks a lot like Scarlett Johansson, but sharper, like she’s at the start of a boozy night out and Johansson’s at the end. And she’s easily got the sex appeal of Angelina Jolie, but this side of sanity.

Luckily, it also looks like she deftly swerved past the ‘dappy rom-com’ career hole. She’s played screwed-up teen temptress Greta in Sky One’s weird Hidden Palms, and been in similarly odd cinema – from slasher movie All The Boys Love Mandy Lane to the forthcoming film adaptation of The Informers, written by the man behind American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis. Which means, of course, that she plays a “bad girl, who does drugs and is very promiscuous”.

But right now? She’s about to be on UK cinema screens in Pineapple Express, a stoner film from the Superbad and Knocked Up team, in which she plays Seth Rogen’s prissy girlfriend. And let there be no doubt, you’ve got to do something right to get in with that crowd – it’s currently Hollywood’s hippest hit machine.

So FHM’s got to ask, why do all the boys love Amber Heard?

 

 

She’s got balls…
“I was 17 when I moved to Hollywood. I always preferred being on my own, not knowing what would happen tomorrow. In retrospect it was kind of brash, because I didn’t know anybody here, had very little money, no name and almost nothing to go on. But I wasn’t scared, so I told my parents the day before I left that I was catching a plane in the morning.”

She knows how to get ahead in Hollywood…
“At first, you’ve got to take guest appearances on TV shows, which I did plenty of. I did plenty of topless scenes too, which are in movies for no reason other than they’re topless. I paid that small price, which you have to do to go further. But I always knew what I was doing in a movie. If my role was nothing but that, I could make the decision, as an adult, whether to use it to my advantage or not. My problem is with girls who don’t realise what their place in a movie is.”

She’s forthright…
“There’s very little filtering process when I speak. Believe me, there are plenty of Catholic school nuns who’d agree that my mouth gets me in a lot of trouble, as would my parents. I’ve been kicked out of more private schools than one cares to brag about, because I hated adhering to a strict dress code. And being an atheist since the age of 16 had something to do with it. But hey, it’s much more fun my way.”

She doesn’t watch the crappy programmes your girlfriend watches…
“I can’t say much about television because I don’t watch it. Books are so much more powerful. If I could pick up a pencil and make any sort of sense I would be an author. Until I discovered my little local film theatre I had nothing except books. But people don’t want to pick up a book, they just want to turn on American Idol.”

She can see behind the curtain of ‘the funny guy’…
“Seth Rogen is incredibly funny and he knows he is. After he’s analysed a situation he dismantles it. He can take apart a room and become everyone’s best friend within five minutes. I piss people off more than I befriend them.”

She’s won’t frown on your drug use…
“What’s better than casting an outspoken atheist, but a drug-using outspoken atheist! So of course my drug use is now non-existent, because I take my career very seriously. But in the past I’ve always had great experiences with marijuana and other drugs. No, I’m not going to list what I’ve done – I’m not that honest.”

But she’s not paranoid or anything…
“I don’t really feel that marijuana is a bad drug. Nowadays everything is a drug. A microwave causes cancer. I think they should label everything a drug and I’m sure they would if they could.”

 

 

And she likes a drink…
“When was my last hangover? About 26 minutes ago when I woke up. That’s a joke. I’ll have one in about five minutes though.”

You’re never too old…
“All the guys I date are older than me. It’s actually a sickness, like an addiction. It’s not like I check IDs before I go on a date though, I just prefer the company of older men, because they’re further developed, emotionally and mentally.”

She likes annoying men…
“I think a lot of men think they love me, but I don’t think it’s genuine enough to spend time on it or emotionally invest in it. It takes a lot for me to fall for somebody and most of that is in the brain and the heart. It’s about finding someone who pisses me off. I’m in it for the challenge.”

She’s a rich starlet…
“Let me correct you. Number one: I’m still starving, because I’m an actress, so I’m not allowed to eat. Number two: I spend all my money on classic cars. I’ve had loads. Right now I have a 1968 Mustang and a 1967 Mercedes 250SL. I try to fix them up myself as much as I can, buying the parts on Ebay.”

She’s doesn’t bang on about the environment…
“I try to be as environmentally conscious as I can, but I don’t drive a hybrid. Buying a car is like buying a pair of shoes. I spend so much time in it, because LA’s basically one big highway, so there’s little practicality in picking one – my decision is over-ridden by looks and hybrids are not attractive.”

As a Texan she’s got the inside scoop on who killed JFK…
“The aliens did it. I do take some conspiracies seriously, but it’s damn near impossible for me to swallow anything I don’t know a significant amount about. That’s why I’m not religious.”

She really has balls…
“If this whole thing hadn’t worked out I would have killed myself or gone back to school. The latter would have been the last option.”

And she knows her limits…
“Will my downfall be through sex, drugs or money? I’m all about moderation. So all of the above, I think.”

Pineapple Express is out September 12.

Original interview by Andrew Hankinson in the October 2008 issue of FHM UK magazine