Brooklyn Decker attended the ESPY awards, the gong show for the ESPN channel, last night. She was presenting an award, not winning one - she's married to tennis player Andy Roddick, but they don't give prizes for Best Wife of a Tennis Player, though she'd definitely win if they did. Mainly this is news because she looked UNBELIEVABLE.

Brooklyn Decker at the ESPY Awards

She looks like the sort of woman who only exists in video games, but she's not all pixelated and you can't control her by pressing up-down-B-B-B-B-A-left. That's the main way in which real women are different from computer game women. Also real women have thoughts of their own, usually don't fire guns, tend not to come back to life if they die, and are actual people. Come to think of it, there are loads of differences. Real women are much more brilliant than computer game ones, especially funny, quite sarcastic women who are also beautiful. Anyway, we've absolutely no idea where we're going with this so let's just have another picture of Brooklyn Decker and shut the hell up.

Brooklyn Decker at the ESPY Awards, close-up

Bugger it, let's have another.

Brooklyn Decker at the ESPY Award, full body

We don't have a lot of stories on Brooklyn Decker - why? Because we're douchebags - but here's everything we do have:

1/ Brooklyn Decker is in a yellow bikini

2/ Brooklyn Decker is doing cartwheels

3/ Brooklyn Decker talks a lot