Ever wondered what Victoria’s Secret bombshell and all-round über-babe Candice Swanepoel smells like? If we had to hazard a guess, we’d guess it’s somewhere along the lines of summer rain with a hint of angel tears. If only we were clever enough to somehow bottle that smell. Just imagine... We could sell it on to the yearning masses and be millionaires.

AC Slater knows it

Sadly for us, this seemingly enterprising business plan turned out to be yet another pipe dream destined for our ever-growing box of failed ideas. Seems the clever folks at Victoria’s Secret have already cottoned on to the idea that people might enjoy smelling like Candice Swanepoel and are using her to promote their new perfume: VS Fantasies.

While we applaud what is overall an idea that benefits the global population, ridding the world of bad smells one spritz at a time, we can’t help thinking it seems a bit convenient that they should have this idea at the exact same time as us. 

We’re not accusing the nice people at Victoria’s Secret of anything, and we guess it makes sense for them to take control of the project, you know, having the money and the resources to create such a product when we’ve got precisely £14.34 in savings and a decided lack of perfume-making machinery.

"Eau de moi. Why do I smell SO GOOD?"

Plus they’ve got the whole actually knowing Candice thing going for them. We guess Candice would find a request from Victoria’s Secret to create a perfume with her in mind a lot less creepy and awkward than if we gave her a ring asking to ‘bottle her smell’ ourselves…

Alright Victoria's Secret, you can have this one, just send us a few bottles and we'll call it quits.