Emma Watson is better than you in every way. She’s cleverer, richer, more beautiful more magical than you could ever imagine. At the Costume Institute ball held annually at the Metropolitan Museum in New York she made the likes of Katy Perry, Sienna Miller and that top-heavy red head from Mad Men look like 2 o’clock angels.

Watson recently began attending fancy American University Brown after fleeing the UK because she was fed up with the intrusion of the gutter press *takes long hard look in mirror*


But that’s not to say she’s been totally excepted. When you’ve starred as a swot wizard in one of the biggest film franchises ever since the age of ten you have to expect a bit of piss taking. A cracking rumour that circulated on industry gossip website Popbitch read thus… “A friend of mine goes to Brown University, and she has achemistry class with Emma Watson. She said one day Emma answered a question correctly and someone in the back shouted, “TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!” “She wasn’t happy.”