Why we love Kayla Collins
Often, when we open our newspaper in the morning, toast and marmalade on our left and a hefty pipe on the right, we don’t like what we see in the news. Not only did serial tosspot Ashley Cole cheat on ‘wor Chezza’ a few years back (and, come on, what was he thinking?) but he’s dated – and subsequently chucked – Kayla Collins.
What’s wrong with him? A specialist team of experts have their guesses but no-one can be sure why Ashley Cole keeps dumping gorgeous women.
But Kayla doesn’t need him. You might recognise her as the token fittie on last year’s I’m A Celebrity – she wore a bikini quite a lot.
Kayla likes England, which is obviously a massive bonus. On the next postcard she writes home she’ll probably say how great our country is and how she loves our posh-but-not-posh accents, and then all her fit mates will think ‘We should go to England’ and they will, then we’ll be really happy.
It’s a foolproof plan, but we have to be extra nice to Kayla otherwise it will all blow up in our face. Kayle enjoys partying in Essex with those plebs from The Only Way Is Essex which, considering she is one of Hugh Hefner’s Playmates, must be a pretty depressing contrast.
But hey, she likes it. Apparently Essex is less posh. Wait, Kayla, you said you liked posh guys? We’ve even tried not dropping the ‘t’ in words like ‘party’…
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