Dita Von Teese has an exciting life. She was married to glorious weirdo Marilyn ‘Brian’ Manson for three years, which means, at least metaphorically, that she’s got some massive balls. The burlesque artist – as is her trademark - probably had a martini for breakfast. The FHM writing team had a cup of tea, two bowels of porridge, a Petit Filous, two bananas and an apple. Between four of us. Oh, the shame.

Von Teese, now 37, was swept away in the arms of platinum-blonde billionaire Richard Branson to celebrate Virgin Airways’ 10th anniversary of flying non-stop between London and Las Vegas. She was wearing high heels, a red corset, fishnet stockings and a cape. The one-time Playboy cover star said: “I’ve never actually walked on the wing of an airplane before,” as if walking on the wing of an aeroplane was something as casually achievable as having a filling or going to Alton Towers.

Dita Von Teese demonstrating the angle at which a Virgin Atlantic aeroplane would almost certainly fall out of the sky:

 

Richard Branson doing an enthusiastic and slightly threatening pose with his tongue:

The one other thing we've got on Dita Von Teese:

1/ Dita Von Teese sex tape: slightly dubious