Well let’s hear it for bottled water’s sexiest hour. Dita Von Teese, former wife of Marilyn Manson (yup, they used to eat cornflakes together) is starring in Perrier’s ‘sexiest ever’ advertising campaign. Although that’s hardly a headline accolade, given that previous Perrier campaigns have featured kids frolicking in sunflower fields and a man falling into a volcano:

But here she is, using every sexy second of her 37 years to tease you into associating carbonated H20 with high-stakes sexual adventure. She’s got silver dice, and a silver platter to roll them on. And it works, dammit. We’re never drinking Highland Spring again, in case we end up with a thistle in our ringpiece. Ewwww.

Dita Von Teese on FHM.com

1/ Is Dita Von Teese sexy?

2/ Dita Von Teese in a red corset

3/ Dita Von Teese sex tape: slightly dubious