So what sort of bikini do you prefer?
I like the ones that do up at the side with strings. You can undo them and move the fabric around so all of your breasts get evenly tanned. That said, I tend to go topless.
Aren’t you afraid of getting papped?
Nah, I’m not famous enough yet. And I’m not sure I’d want to be. Matt and I went to Thorpe Park with David Gest, and even though he was allowed to dodge the queues because he was famous, it still took an hour to get from one ride to another because of all the autograph hunters.
How enormous were your breasts on the Gossard billboard?
I don’t know. I never climbed up with a tape measure. Probably about four feet. But I don’t have big boobs – just average.
We hear you occasionally flash them at people…
I have flashed, but only to good friends in the past. I wouldn’t streak across Edgbaston during a test match going, “Look at these bad girls!” Mind you, I used to share a flat with a gay guy, and in the morning, I’d put on a dressing gown and banter with him on the sofa. If we had an argument and I was losing, I’d just go, “Shut up!” and flash him. He’d shriek, “Urgh, they look mouldy. I can’t look at them. Aargh!”
So you didn’t ‘convert’ him, then?
No, I didn’t. I think we can safely say he’s not into breasts!
What about blokes? Should they grace the beach in Speedos or board shorts?
Definitely nothing too tight! If I saw some guy with a defined bulge, I wouldn’t know where to look. And I wouldn’t be impressed if it was huge, either. Why would you want an enormous one? It’s ridiculous!
How would you make men better?
I’d stop builders wolf-whistling. Because, as well as being offensive, it’s useless. No woman ever thinks: ‘Hmm, he’s whistling at me like I’m a sheepdog. I think I’m going to go up that scaffolding and ask for his number.’