Wouldn’t you just know it? Valentine's Day is coming up and the lovely folks at Victoria’s Secret are making hay while the sun shines. Yup, apparently there’s some sort of connection between ridiculously sexy lingerie and Valentine's Day. So VS have been showing off what you might be lucky enough to get this year – Adriana Lima.
Oh, hang on, it’s just the lingerie. Ok fine, your girlfriend is not going to buy you Adriana Lima for Feb the 14th, but to soften the blow we’ve got her right here for you.
There's a metaphor in there somewhere. Ah well
The problem is, if your better half buys any of this stuff then unless she is Candice Swanepoel you’re probably going to think ‘Yeah it’s good, but Adriana Lima looks better in it’. That’s no slur against anyone else, it just points out how hot Adriana is.
Still, you can’t criticise Victoria’s Secret for conforming to any stereotypes now can you…Lingerie: check. Love hearts: check. Flowers: check. Chocolates: check. Ah.
Flowers: so versatile
And what exactly is she doing to those flowers? Kissing them, eating them, ripping them. That’s just poor flower etiquette Adriana. You’re meant to gasp when you’re given them, smell them and then stick them in some water until they shrivel up and die and you throw them out. Pointless things. To be fair she’s making more use of the flowers than anyone else ever would. Apart from the geezers at the Chelsea Flower Show – they’d make you a working escalator out of flowers if you asked them to.
20 minutes she's been holding that there