FHM's Girlfriends: the ultimate collection

Posted by , 24 December 2010

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Katie

Katie is a part-time receptionist from Bristol. You bonded over a shared sense of humour and a love of vodka Red Bulls. But now Christmas is drawing near it’s time to pour the eggnog because Santa Claus, and Katie, are coming to town.

Where did we met?
On a night out with the girls. You came over to me and brought me a drink. A vodka and Red Bull.

Did we have a kiss?
No I think probably we teased each other and swapped numbers.

Would you prefer me to call or text you?
Text first, I think.

What was our first date like? Was it a complete disaster, or did I do something nice?
It was nice. We just kind of clicked, you know? Just chatted in a restaurant.

Oh, we went for dinner, did we? Did I pick up the tab?
We did, yes. And yes, you paid. Of course!

How long was it before we slept together?
I would say perhaps three or four weeks.

Was it any good?
It was great. We made it last a bit, too.

Last a bit?
Ha ha! I mean in terms of the weeks we waited. It was good that we didn’t do it straight away.

And out of ten how was it? Would you tell me if I was rubbish?
I'd say it was an eight. I might tell you if you were rubbish, yes. But tactfully.

So there's room for improvement?
Sure is. It was probably because we were both pretty nervous.

Have we done anything to make our sex life more interesting?
Definitely, dressing up in sexy lingerie.

Are you pressuring me into marriage?
No. God no, definitely not. No way. Oh my God, no.

Er, okay. Did I have to try very hard to impress your mum?
Yes definitely, you brought over a bottle of wine and some flowers.

Basically I just got you both drunk?
Yes, it was easier to chat.

What are we going to watch on TV? Ray Mears or Loose Women?
God, I don’t know. I hate Loose Women. I'm more of a Top Gear girl.

What first attracted you to me?
Definitely your sense of humour.

Not my face then?
Yes the face too, ha ha!

Are you a good girlfriend?
Yes, because we have a great sex life. I like to have fun, I enjoy dancing and horse riding and you like to come with me.

Do I?
Well, I think you might be lying a bit but it’s quite funny.

Is there any thing that I do that is really annoying?
Not particularly, because I probably wouldn’t be with you if you annoyed me that much.

Are you going to change the way I dress?
No.

Really?
You've got to be yourself, haven’t you? You can’t feel uncomfortable. Unless you dress like someone who has lived on the streets. That would be terrible. You have to shower.

A KATIE DESKTOP:

FHM Katie Girlfriend December

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