FHM's Girlfriends: the ultimate collection

Posted by , 13 December 2010


Lauren, 20, from Darlington.

Her dark ginger hair is known as 'titian' - women with this hue will be impressed if you namedrop that.

Where did we meet?
It would definitely have been in a bar or club, but nothing too posh 'coz I don’t do really posh things.

Did I have to buy you a drink?
No, you didn’t have to buy me a drink. You offered but I bought one myself.

Who made the first move?
It was you. I don’t make the first move unless I really have to.

What was it that attracted you to me?
It was your broad shoulders. I’m definitely a shoulders girl. You had nice dark brown eyes too, and a big smile.

Did you like what I was wearing?
Yeah, you weren’t scruffy so that was fine. Your style is your style.

And did we kiss on the first night?
Yeah, we kissed in the club.

How long was it before we slept together?
I don’t know. How long was it? Was I drunk? It could have been on the first date but only if we got very drunk. But that doesn’t mean I’m easy. I’d probably wake up the next day and feel bad 'coz you’d think I was a tart.

Was it good sex?
Well, we were drunk and I like drunk sex so it was probably great.

What happened next?
I waited for you to text me and then left it a little while before replying. It was a few hours at least. It depends how much I like you so I might have left it a day.

How long before I met your parents?
I’ve got nice parents so it wasn’t that long, just as soon as you were comfortable with it.

But what if they don’t like me?
If my parents don’t like you then they don’t like you. That’s their problem, isn’t it?

And how was it when you met mine?
I think I was nervous more than anything else.

Did you try and impress them?
I did but I ended up getting really nervous and doing something stupid. I talked far too much and tried to be friendly but ended up being overly friendly.

What are Sundays like at our house?
They’re pretty boring, pretty average. You don’t have to get dressed if you don’t want to.

And what happens if I roll in drunk after a big night out?
That’s fine, we all do it so as long as it’s not every single night and you’re not waking me up then that’s fine. And if you do it then I get to do it as well.

Would you clean up after me if I couldn’t get to the toilet in time to be sick?
Yeah, I would, I’m nice like that. I’d hold your hair as well!

If I left you alone in the house would you go through my drawers?
No. That’s just rude.

Am I allowed to have porn around the house?
Well I don’t see the point but if you really, really want to, I suppose I’d get over it. You don’t have to leave it lying around. What if my parents came round?

Would you wear sexy lingerie around the house for me?
On yeah, definitely. I love my lingerie and dressing up. I absolutely adore it.

What’s your favourite thing in bed?
I quite like being on top but at the same time I quite like being controlled. But then I quite like being controlling too. So a bit of everything.

How about kinky stuff?
Kinky stuff is fine. I like being blindfolded and tied up so that’s fine as long as I can do it to you, too.

Are you going to freak out if I pull your hair?
No, I quite like that actually, as long as you’re not going to tear it out.

Would we do it outdoors?
It depends. There’s no rules on where you have sex, so outdoors is fine.

Do we want to get caught?
Oh yeah, definitely

Can we make a home movie?
Yeah, as long as you don’t break up with me and put it on the internet.

Can we get someone else involved?
Hmm, probably not because it’s going to be a girl, isn’t it?


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