“The lingerie is amazing and feels so beautiful against your body. There is nothing more powerful or seductive than wearing sensual lingerie, and this is the perfect range to indulge in…” says Raica Oliveira, of her Ultimo underwear range.

Hmm. Really, Raica Oliveira? Perhaps there is nothing more seductive than wearing sensual lingerie, but surely some things are more powerful? What about a tank? Or nuclear weapons? A big bolt of lightning? A polar bear on steroids?

But perhaps we’re just being a bit pedantic. Maybe we should just sit back and enjoy the lovely video. No, that’s your job. Our job is to put some words here, lest your attention waver from said lovely video.

Raica Oliveira used to date Ronaldo. 'Fat Ronaldo', that is.

See how Raica Oliveira is in some animal print smalls in the video? Interestingly, she loves animals. She’s been a devout vegetarian her entire life and says she doesn’t feel the urge to eat meat. We do. On a largely hourly basis. Sometimes we eat so much meat we think we might have overdone it on the meat a little bit, but then someone offers us a nice mince trifle and a glass of meat and we can’t resist having a small helping.

Raica’s love for animals extends to her owning eight dogs. FHM doesn’t eat dogs. Not knowingly, anyway. Yeah, you heard it here first: FHM doesn’t knowingly eat dogs. Hold the front page.

When she joined Ultimo, she replaced FHM favourite Kelly Brook. That’s a helluva task. That’d be like Kenny Dalglish phoning us and asking if we fancied replacing ‘Nando Torres at Liverpoooooool.

If you’re listening, Ken, we’re up for it.