Too often is Irina Shayk discussed in conjunction with a certain semi-famous footballer. We’re not going to mention his name, because you’ll probably never have heard of him. We haven’t. Instead, here’s a fact or two about Irina.

On January 6, 1986, Irina was born in Yemanzhelinsk, Russia.  Hold the phone. January 6? Isn’t that today? So it is. Happy birthday Irina! Twenty-five years old. Gosh. That’s rather a convenient coincidence. Now we can proudly display these photos in honour of her birthday, instead of simply for the sheer carnality of it.


Actually, there’s a better reason. Swimwear company Ory managed to lure Irina into wearing bikinis by convincing her that it was summer. We wanted to see if this was a universal rule of thumb, so we took ourselves off to Hyde Park in an ice-cream van, and placed numerous fan heaters along the promenade. Well, the upshot was, no one took their clothes off and the van got looted.


Back to the facts, because we’re discovering that when you’re mainly famous for being Ronaldo’s girlfriend, there’s only so long you can draw this out. There. We said it.  Told you that you wouldn’t have heard of him.


Whoever this fellow is, he must be doing something right, because he’s bagged himself a veritable peach. Let’s just hope she’s not like our last Russian girlfriend, Natasha Petrovska Sputnik, who declared her undying love for us when all she really wanted was a visa (and not the credit card variety, either).