Here’s how the media works (sort of): new singer signs a record deal with a record label, new singer is given to a PR agency to publicise, PR agency tells everyone how amazing new singer is, journalists either believe or don’t believe PR agency and write either nice, not nice or ambivalent copy about the singer that may or may not contribute to making the record label happy by helping to selling lots of records.

When were contacted about Kyrah, a 24-year-old American woman who’s a bit like Ke$sha and has the lyric "wake up wasted and it's 'oops I'm naked'" in her song Uh oh (above), the press release described her as “all-singing, all-dancing, witty-writing, piano-playing, globe-trotting, Hollywood-hanging, legwarmer-wearing, nightclub-scamming, publicity-courting, paparazzi-posing, fashion-fixing, sexy-pouting, glam-trashing, hard-working, harder-playing”.

So we figured it might be nice to ask her about all of these things individually. You can judge for yourselves if that was a good idea or not. So here you go:

ALL SINGING
"I started singing when I was about five or six in musicals and then I did my first demo when I was 15. I’m 24 now so it’s taken me nine years. I used to act a lot more than sing when I was a kid, and then I realised I could sing and that was that. I acted in musicals and plays and stuff like that."

ALL DANCING
"I love to dance. I was dancing inside my Mum’s stomach. I’ve always loved it. It’s just a great emotional release. I prefer live performances when they have big dance routines. I like drama and theatrics and all that kind of stuff. Right now Lady Gaga is the best. No one can beat her. She makes everyone else look really bad. It’s made the standard of pop music a lot higher. When someone comes out with all that you have to try harder and think more outside the box than ever before. People have done it before. I mean, Madonnna was amazing. She put on amazing shows. But Lady Gaga definitely wears more eccentric clothing and I think she’s a little more out there. There was a performance when she pretended to die and they were hanging her. At the MTV Awards. She was on a cross. I definitely have plans to be that provocative, but they’re top secret."

WITTY WRITING
"My lyrics are a bit sarcastic, a bit humorous but also have some meaning to them. I do a lot of girl power stuff. A lot of it is like dominatrix. I’m the boss because that’s really how I am and I can’t seem to get away from that style. There’s a real solo female thing happening in the UK at the moment, but not as much in America. I think America is trying to get back on its feet after all the economic problems, but there’s a lot of hip hop and rap coming out, as usual. I co-write my stuff with producers and writers. I couldn’t do all that myself. I haven’t decided what my album’s called yet. That’s top secret too."

PIANO PLAYING
"I play the piano yeah. I took lessons when I was little, but after that it was just me teaching myself. Writing melodies on it and stuff. Any of Enya’s stuff is good to play. I like classical music. I love Elton John. I’m not as good as Alicia Keys on the piano, I will admit that. I’m too hyper. I need to be out in front of the audience singing and moving around. I play piano to relax."

GLOBE TROTTING
"I travel the world a lot Bali and Indonesia are my favourite places in the world. I used to live in Asia for quite a few years so we used to hop over to Bali quite a bit for holidays. Balinese people are so lovely and relaxed and kind. It’s really chilled out and there’s a party scene. I like to party but I’m not an out-of-control partyer. I am a bit of a wild child, so when I got out I like to go out and dance like crazy with my girlfriends."

HOLLYWOOD HANGING
"I’m quite friendly with like Jack Osbourne. If I saw him walking down the street I’d ask him what’s up. He always has some new funny story. No one’s been really horrible to me in Hollywood. I wasn’t keen on the girls from The Hills. Audrina’s quite nice. I don’t know, I guess so it’s a weird programme. Heidi wasn’t mean she was just kind of rude. When people are stuck in the fame game and they think that the world revolves around them."

LEG WARMER WEARING
"I like leg warmers. I like anything ‘80s. I was born in ’86. I Probably wear leg warmers three times a week. I really wanted to start wearing them to the gym but I think everyone would look at me funny. I wear black ones the most but I have black ones with sparkles on. When I’m watching TV I just wear just legwarmers. I wear them to bed too."

NIGHT CLUB SCAMMING
"I’ve scammed my way into many places. When I first moved to LA I had friends but I didn’t know anyone on the party circuit, so I had to scam my way in, get to know all the promoters personally, otherwise you don’t even get considered. There’s a circuit in Hollywood run by a few different promoters and you’ve got to know them otherwise there’s no chance. You have to make them think you’re something important."

PUBLICITY COURTING
"I love publicity. I’d like to be ten out of ten famous because that means my music would be selling like crazy. I’m more into making my music successful than making me successful. I’d rather be Britney than Paris Hilton. Paris is clever though, she’s making a lot of money. People diss her but she’s the one rolling in it."

PAPARAZZI POSING
"I love the paparazzi. It’s so funny when you come out of clubs in LA. They just talk to you and take your picture and ask you about your night. I’ve got tons of friends who are paparazzi. The guy who used to live downstairs from me in my apartment building was paparazzi, and he’d take pictures of us coming out of a club and then I’d share a cab home with him. I text them sometimes if they want to know where we are because they’re so sweet if I know that a bunch of people are going to be somewhere I’ll text them. I haven’t flashed my bum yet but when I’m desperate I might. But never with no pants on. I mean, come on people, put on your underwear."