Katy Perry is pretty much always amazing and Rolling Stone magazine is often amazing. But they’ve set Katy Perry the big ol’ challenge of trying to make a pair of beige smalls look good on the front cover of their new issue. Look:
No Rolling Stone. Incorrect pants. They are a proper pair of ‘run out of clean pants’ pants, which are the kind of pants Katy Perry probably doesn’t have to wear anymore. Even when she’s been on tour for two months and gets home at 3am, she’s rich and successful enough these days to DEMAND that her label or her slave or Russell Brand go out and get her a nice pair of fancy pants for the morning. Pants that smell of poppy fields before the Taliban have harvested them and sold onto the worldwide heroin market. Pants that smell like the rolling waves of the ocean used to before BP ruined it by spilling millions of gallons of oil into it. Pants that smell like vanilla custard does before you realise the milk’s gone off. Basically: amazing pants. Come on Rolling Stone, where are your amazing pants?
HERE ARE A FEW PAIRS OF AMAZING PANTS: