A couple of months ago, Kelly Brook and Danny Cipriani broke up. It obviously affected the buxom brunette horribly. Since the split, she’s barely been able to drag herself out of bed to make taxi drivers crash while advertising trainers… appear on the cover of Playboy… grace numerous countries with a plethora of sensational bikini wearing… tame lions… become a fitness instructor… OR become lunch for a pack of hungry piranhas. Tough times. Poor Kelly.

But, good news – Kelly’s bouncing back! She’s booked a girls’ holiday to Ibiza and has started using webcam site chatroulette.com in order to bag a new man. We’ve always liked roulette, because, unlike poker and blackjack, it requires absolutely no skill whatsoever. So we can stroll around the casino in an ill-fitting suit, drinking white wine spritzers and pretending to be Bond, James Bond. Until we run out of free chips, that is. Then it's home to mum for another Friday night hot choccie. "Marshmallows? Oh, go on then, mum, if you insist."

But now we bloody love roulette. Imagine it: you’re sitting at home killing time on the internet, flicking through chat roulette – obese Scotsman masturbating (“You like this, don’t’cha laddie?”)… 78-year-old woman an inch from her webcam, trying to Skype her grandson in Australia (“Is that you, dear?”)… pasty teenager dressed in ill-fitting homemade Spiderman costume (“You MUST NOT reveal my true identity,”)… obese Scotsman masturbating (“I knew ye’d be back!”)… Kelly Brook looking all radiant and wholesome and lovely (“Hi. Would you like to be my new boyfriend?”) Bingo, bango, bongo. That’ll do nicely.

‘I went on Chat Roulette with a friend and it was hilarious.  These 13-year-old boys came on the screen and said, ‘Urgh, they’re about 40’. ‘They buzzed us on and rejected us. Unbelievable!’

Unbelievable, indeed. The youth of today – so much to learn.



1/ Kelly Brook in Ultimo underwear - the video
2/ Kelly Brook's bum sells shoes
3/ Kelly Brook is still in South Africa


1/ Did Peter Crouch cheat on Abbey Clancy?
2/ Megan Fox strips off her jeans
3/ Being Sienna Miller looks great
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