Congratulations Kim, you’re the most eligible girl in the world!
Oh my God. I love you guys. Thank you. I don’t know what to say, it’s embarrassing.
Enough messing around, how do we pull you?
It’s all about your sense of humour. Come up with something I haven’t heard before, make me laugh and you might be in. And never dance. I like guys who sit in the corner instead of seeking attention.
Talk us through a great date.
I’m a rock chick, so I love gigs. I love the White Stripes and Dirty Pretty Things and I went to see The Killers last time I was in London. We’d have to stand at the side, though. I went in an insane Rage Against The Machine mosh pit when I was 18. Never again.
We were thinking of a few pints down a spit and sawdust boozer, you game?
I’d be up for that. I’m really open to stuff, especially when I’m in Britain.
What about British blokes, you open to them?
Absolutely, your accents are so hot. It makes you sound intelligent, sexy and sophisticated.
Quite. So we haven’t danced, we’ve got the accent and we’ve done the groundwork. How do we secure your heart?
There’s a store in Beverley Hills that organises everything from your clothes to your books, shoes and mail. Close that down and give me five minutes to take what I wanted and I’d fall in love with you.
Wow. No flowers, chocolates or lingerie?
Oh lingerie, I love lingerie.
Didn’t you bring your own to the shoot?
I sure did. I’m obsessed with Agent Provocateur. I have this polka dot lingerie set that is just so hot. When I know I’ve got something like that on, I’m sexy and confident, it’s such a good feeling.
Ever walk around the house in it?
I live with my dad, so that would be plain weird… maybe when I get my new house.
Is the new pad why you were trying to buy a Banksy at his LA show?
Yeah, but although his stuff was really cool, and I’m dying to meet him, I didn’t get anything. Jack bought a piece, though.
Jack? Your old bloke Jack Osbourne?
Yes, but that’s not true. Jack and I have been best friends forever, but we never went out.
But you gave him your breast implants, right?
That’s true. I signed them, got them framed and presented them to him. They’re on his bathroom wall.
Doesn’t that freak you out?
Not really, I think it’s funny.
Talking of funny, we heard you’re planning on releasing an album.
It’s not something I’m opposed to, but it’s also not something I’ve got time to work on at the moment. If I did, it would be rock/pop.
Great, can we expect an Ozzie/Kelly style duet with dad?
Original interview by Stuart Hood in the April 2007 issue of FHM UK magazine