Lady Gaga really wants you to know that those persistent rumours that she is in possession of a man's penis as well as a lady's vagina are totally untrue. Ok? OK?!
The Telephone singer and possessor of the world's most mental wardrobe was in Stockholm yesterday and, following a gig, decided to head out on the town.
It was just a casual drink with friends so she wore what most women would wear on such an occasion: a bra, see-through knickers, fishnet tights, a leather jacket from the David Hasselhoff collection and weird shoes that seem to spit in the face of the laws of physics (how is she standing up without a heel - is she nailed to them? Is she a faun?).
In some pictures she looks sort of good, if you ignore the fact that you're looking at Lady Gaga. Yet in others she looks like she lives in a cave by the sea and lives off the carcasses of washed up seals and unfortunate children who strayed too close to her lair when playing their foolish games. Lady Gaga continues to confuse.
Four highlights from the FHM archive featuring women better than Lady Gaga:
1/ Candice Swanepoel wears Victoria's Secret bikinis
2/ Vanessa Hudgens wore some tiny denim shorts
3/ Emma Watson is in Vanity Fair
4/ Kelly Brook models bras for Ultimo