27-year-old Australian mega-model Miranda Kerr is married OFFICIALLY. And that’s OFFICIALLY rubs. She’s gone; married to Orlando Bloom, and with her has gone the infinitesimal, atomic level chance that you might one day get off with her.

The Victoria’s Secret model tied the knot with her elfin hubby in a private ceremony that was believed to have taken place in Los Angeles. We don’t hate him, we respect him, but also we hate him. Kerr will obviously carry on working thank God, but she’s now officially off the market. Bums, Here’s a memorial gallery.