NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. It’s a sad day in the world of man news, one of our all time favourite ladies - the 27-year-old Victorias Secret model Miranda Kerr - is to marry her long-term boyfriend Orlando Bloom. That’s right, any hopes or dreams you had of getting together with the preternaturally attractive Australian are now over thanks to a pointy-eared knob from Canterbury. No offence to Canterbury, you’re easily top-five of our favourite cathedral cities, and if you’re asking, Exeter's number one, followed shortly by York. Anyway, yes, they’re getting married, a rep for the couple told the internet that "Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are getting married". The pair have been dating since 2007, and soon they’ll be having kids and the kids will be the most beautiful creatures on earth and will likely look like a Gelfin from The Dark Crystal. So it’s with a heavy heart *starts playing penny whistle in a melancholy fasion* that we post this commemorative gallery of the lovely Ms. Kerr. But don’t worry, we’ll be posting more pictures, if anything her being married makes it more fun. Mmm forbidden fruit. In the meantime, feast your eyes on the gallery at the bottom, HA! Her bottom...

 

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