It’s not often we get involved in politics. All that walking to the polling station, standing in the little pen, ticking boxes next to names we’ve never heard of, it all feels very grown up. Like someone accidentally gave us a bit too much responsibility. We don’t like it. 

If this was real politics, we'd be well in there

However, when the basic democratic rights of our great nation are called into question, we can sometimes be persuaded to sit up and take an interest. This, dear friends, is one of those times.
The annual Miss England competition, a tradition as old as England’s mountains green and as integral to the people of England as rain at a picnic, is in turmoil. After eighty years of competition, the competition has just elected it’s latest queen. Only one problem: she’s not English, she’s Welsh.
Alize Lily Mounter, a 22-year-old model and student, grew up in the Rhonnda Valley in South Wales. According to our extensive geographical knowledge and Google maps, Rhonnda Valley is a fair few miles in the wrong direction from the Welsh/English border. Rules state that Alize is eligible because she now lives in London.
Alize, a million times better than Lee Ryan since 1988
We were utterly outraged. Until we saw these lovely pictures of Alize. With such nice blonde hair and pretty purple dress, she’s really hard to be angry at you know? Maybe we can find a nice compromise. Something like we’ll keep Alize and Wales can have Lee Ryan or Richard Madeley or someone. That’s fair, right?