Wednesday July 31 is almost upon us.

If you've got yourself an FHM calendar, it's the last day you wake up to Jorgie Porter licking the ice cream you'd just dreamt you were.

It's also the last day you can get your hands on our summer issue, starring Jorgie, Gemma Merna and Jennifer Metcalfe.

If you haven't got yours yet, here's 11 things you'll never, ever know once August arrives.

And if you have already read it - thanks! You can now sit there, smug as a photogenic pug and safe in the knowledge that you're officially a bit smarter than everyone else.

01 Why Jorgie Porter "feels sexiest with a chunky butt."


02 How Cal Crutchlow went from roofing homes in Coventry to riding multimillion-pound speed machines for a living.

Cal Crutchlow

03 How to become a cycling pro and get an award-winning arse, under the guidance of Victoria Pendleton.

Victoria Pendleton at FHM 100 Sexiest Party 2013

04 Which boardies you should rock this summer.

board shorts for FHM

05 How to launch your own app, like these guys we met on the FHM x Jägermeister road trip.

Shoping app founders

06 How to get a date with Jennifer Metcalfe. 

Jennifer Metcalfe in August FHM

07 28 tips for how to be a man abroad, from blagging a better hotel room to winning with the international ladies.

Blonde girl on the beach shot by FHM

08 What taking legal drugs is really like. 

FHM tries legal drugs

09 Why Jake Humphrey's nickname is Bunny Cub.

Jake Humphrey and Amanda Byram

10 What's next after Candy Crush.

Candy crush rehab

11 Why Gemma Merna believes her boob job is the best thing she's ever done.

To make sure you never miss out again, get yourself a year's subscription for the ludicrous price of just £12.