The launch of anything new in such hard, austere times as these is a cause for celebration. Last week, we opened a pop-up restaurant in the heart of Covent Garden. It just seemed the appropriate thing to do, given the transience of modern day life. We invited all the Victoria's Secret gang along to the launch, and even a few career partygoers, such as Alexa Chung and Daisy Lowe. Inexplicably, none of them turned up. We're not really that surprised, given the pop-up restaurant was little more than a glorified burger stand, and the only photographer there was our mate George, whose iPhone camera was playing up all day.

Alesha Dixon at shopping centre launch

 All in all, a disastrous attempt. So it was a bit of luck that just a few miles east, in Cheapside, another launch party had a somewhat greater degree of success. The One New Change shopping centre is perfectly located right at the heart of the City of London and contains all the excitements that one would expect of a retail hub. Bankers, you finally have somewhere worthwhile to spend your money. Take an afternoon off, and instead of speculating with other people's money, try using some of your own for once. It'll be liberating.

Alesha Dixon was the main attraction of the launch, first because she was dressed festively  about a month too early (bah, humbug), and secondly as she stunned everyone into silence with singing renditions from her new album The Entertainer. We think it was a good silence, but we couldn't say for certain. Ask one of the choir boys, they'll tell you.