Alessandra Ambrosio wears Victoria's Secret lingerie for a living. It's what she does. She's really good at it, so why the hell shouldn't she. Look how good she is at wearing pants.
That is A+ pant-wearing right there. If she was morbidly obese and covered in weird greasy hair and had some kind of partially formed conjoined twin attached to her lower abdomen, who somehow had the ability to wink despite really just being a collection of hair and teeth and an odd flap of skin, then maybe we'd say, "You know what, Alessandra, maybe this whole lingerie wearing thing isn't for you. You seem like a good person, but accept that there are only a few genetically perfect people in the world who are ideally proportioned for wearing tiny underthings and get yourself a nice job that doesn't judge the physically imperfect, like online journalism perhaps? It doesn't make you a bad person, or in any way a lesser being, it's just the genetic cards we're all dealt". But she looks like this, so it's great.
Senior writer Josh Woodfin bought new pants today. Yeah, he told everyone. Apparently they're white. Playing a dangerous gambling game with the skidmark fairies there. We haven't seen him in them – probably never will unless he has a bit of a breakdown and comes to work in his undercrackers, smelling like supermarket scotch – but we bet he doesn't look like this.
Judge rules: Josh Woodfin is a lovely man but Alessandra Ambrosio is more suited to the public wearing of silky pants. Bosh.