Here at FHM we pride ourselves on knowing who people are before everyone else – particularly when they look like Amber Heard. So while half (or perhaps more than half) of the British population were asking the search engine gods, “Who the frig is the hottie on Top Gear?!” as Mexico’s favourite TV presenter quizzed Amber about her new film Drive Angry, FHM was smugly lying down on the sofa having eaten more roast potatoes than is healthy.
You see Amber Heard is an old friend of ours. So much so that we’d like to think if she saw us walking down the street you’d hear cries of “FHM! So good to see you, how’ve you been? Would you like to go for a drink? I need you to rescue me from this creepy Clarkson bloke, he won’t stop staring!” – or something like that.
Having appeared on the cover of FHM in October 2008, we’ve been keeping a close eye on the Pineapple Express star ever since. We told you about the time she ran out of paper so had to write messages about equality all over her naked body. We told you how her new film, Drive Angry, will show off her legs in glorious 3D.
But for those of you who needed a middle-aged motoring journalist to introduce you to Amber, here’s all you ever need to know. She’s a lesbian (or bisexual, depending on who you listen to – either is fine with us because we're open-minded), she owns a .357 Magnum and is a certified lifeguard.
So thank you, Mr Clarkson. Introducing millions to Amber Heard is the second greatest thing you have ever done (nothing will ever top punching Piers Morgan).