Ladies and Gents, this is Analu Campos. She models lingerie for a living. Would you like to see her modelling some lingerie? We thought so.

Analu Campos models for Gorteks

So, who’s Analu Campos? Much like previous 'here is a beautiful woman with almost no information about her online' posts – such as Ginta Lapina, Cintia Dicker, and Monika Pietrasinska – we have very little to go on whatsoever. Here’s what we know:

Analu Campos models for Gorteks

She’s been on the front cover of both the Italian and German Maxim, which is nice, and you’d think that once you’ve been on the cover of Maxim in two countries you deserve a Wikipedia page to help out poor men’s mag journos scrabbling for info, but apparently not.

Analu Campos models for Gorteks

She was described as 'Der Spielerfrauen' on the front cover of German Maxim. Now, our German isn’t as good as it used to be – and considering we never learned how to speak it in the first place, that’s pretty poor – but we reckon it’s the rough equivalent of 'WAG', as she’s married to Roma Striker Marco Borriello.

Analu Campos models for Gorteks

Either that or it means 'the escaped prisone'. To be honest, we learnt all our German from dialogue in WW2 films, so it’s a specialised vocabulary at best.

Analu Campos models for Gorteks

What else can we tell you about her? These pictures are for Gortecks, who aren’t the folk who make sleeping bags and camping equipment (that’s Gore-Tex, so you can see the confusion) but instead a Polish lingerie company

Analu Campos models for Gorteks

The website, of course, has lots of pictures of Analu Campos (and others) in various lingerie combinations. It also contains 'Antibacterial Underwear' (at least, it is according to our translation software) which is tremendously grim in a way no-one but the Eastern Europeans could pull off.