Today has been all about battles. First there was the battle to get out of bed. Then there was the battle to sneak past the women delivering Valentine’s cards. Next came the battle between Emma Watson and JK Rowling. And now, finally, we bring you the battle between Miley Cyrus and Tish Cyrus (a.k.a. her mum).

Both Miley and Tish attended last night’s GRAMMY Awards in Los Angeles and both looked pretty darn good. But who looks better? Tattoo-ridden, 18-year-old Hannah Montana star Miley or her 43-year-old mother Tish? Again, it’s time for you to decide. And again, we’ll publish a gallery of the lovely lady who garners the most votes.


Dress tried to fill its thought bubble, but drew a blank

We hope Tish wins, because it’s been a tough year for her. What with the allegations that she was having an affair with Poison frontman Bret Michaels and the rumours that she and Billy Ray are divorcing and… …actually, stuff these lies, the truth is we hadn’t heard of her until this morning. We just hope she wins, because she’s an attractive blonde with sizeable bosoms.

What’s that? We’re shallow? You may be right and this possibly explains why we’re dining alone this Valentine’s evening. What are you up to tonight? Any plans to pop the question? Or will you be purchasing petrol station flowers? Send us your story and, if we print it, we’ll post you £25. Which should be more than enough to cover some petrol station flowers. Or, you know, the dry cleaning bill when she throws them at you.


Yin and Yang scrubbed up well