It must be tough for Angelina Jolie. Jetting around Europe, going to premiere after premiere, press conference after press conference, from hotel to hotel, to, well, you get the idea by now. Seriously, though. It can’t be easy having to regurgitate the same platitudes about a poorly received film while trying to maintain your integrity.

The true Oscar-winning performances come from those who can look you plain in the eye, knowing what an interminable pile of revenue-raising crap their latest venture is, and then spout a stream of never-ending superlatives. That takes true talent.


They had to scan the barcode before letting her through customs

Angelina was at the Madrid premiere of The Tourist yesterday, and, probably taking inspiration from Adriana Lima’s $2 million bra, decided to go all out and wear a dress whose top half was constructed entirely from diamonds mined in Sierra Leone, and picked specially for the occasion. Either that or she got the dress from Accessorize. Brad, having zoomed straight in on his Harley D, didn’t have time to dress appropriately, so just put a jacket over his leathers and thought, “yeah, I’m so goddamn gorgeous that I can get away with this”. We can’t argue with him.


But she still managed to sneak through with the stolen jewels

Word has been that Brad and Angelina may finally be getting married in India on Valentine’s Day next year. Thanks to K-Pez and Russell Brand, this looks like it may be catching on as a celebrity trend. They may have to convert to Hinduism to make the union legally binding, but since Angie’s dabbled in every other religion known to man, we don’t think this’ll be too major an obstacle.