Gears of War 3 is a very manly game – we know, because we've played it. Big hulking mountains of testosterone-laden he-meat thudding ponderously around the battlefield like cows on steroids, giant guns with chainsaws strapped to the front, and enemies that explode horrendously no matter how you kill them are the standard fare.
But let's be honest, you probably don't want to see pictures of manly man Marcus Fenix and friends oiled up and posing all sexy, and we doubt that they'd want to give them as busy as they are with fighting their subterranean enemy.
Marcus Fenix flees the oiling scene.
As a magazine, one of our past facets has been oiling people up and getting them to pose sexily (mostly women, if we're honest) so when our hermanos1 over in FHM Spain wanted to do a piece on Gears 3, they were in a quandry. Luckily, Anna Simon stepped in to save the day.
That's a gear around her neck. A WAR gear.
Anna Simon is a Spanish TV presenter, of course, who's been on such shows as These Are Not The News and Nonsense, The Fair. We're sure that those titles make sense in Spanish, but Google translate seems to be mangling them a bit.
La cucaracha, la cucaracha etc.
We don't think that Anna would make a very good COG soldier, as she's not blessed with magically regenerating health or the upper arm strength you'd need to chainsaw a locust grunt in half – but as far as promotional purposes go, she's top notch.
Gears of War 3 is out on September 20 for Xbox 360
1 That's "brothers" in Spanish. Dead multilingual, we are