Hey there, Anne Hathaway. What have you been up to, then? Been at the premiere of Love and Other Drugs, have you? Why’s that then? Because you’re in the film, is it? Be rude not to attend the premiere of your own film, you think? You’re probably right there, Anne Hathaway. Good on you for being a bloody lovely thoughtful person, yet again. Where was the premiere? Los Angeles, you say? Seems like a lot of these premieres are there, doesn’t it?

Oh…kay….. that’s probably enough of this one-way conversation that makes Anne Hathaway seem a bit like a decidedly more attractive incarnation of Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. 

What's that bloke over Anne's right shoulder so upset about? Oh, right - he's just realised he's rocked up to the premier naked. What a douche.

If you haven't yet deduced, Anne Hathaway was at the premiere of Love and Other Drugs. Because she's in it. Sometimes, life makes sense.

Love and Other Drugs is the story of a pharmaceutical salesman (Jake Gyllenhaal) who tries to make his fortune flogging the newly created sexual performance-enhancing drug 'Pfizer' (Viagra).  

"How's my hair? Perfect? Quelle surprise."

Old Jakey boy's character is a bit of a lothario. In fact, he makes serial-shagger Calum Best look like Stephen Fry. He's the kind of guy no woman can tame, but many have tried. But then he meets Maggie (Anne Hathaway) and everything changes. 

All would be sweetness and light, but Maggie's onset of Parkinson's is worsening with alarming velocity. Cue lots of emotionally wraught moments and Snow Patrol. Always with the Snow Patrol. 

Anne's got to go now. On the rare occasions we're on the red carpet, we smile awkwardly, try not to get in anyone famous' way, and shuffle off sheepishly to enjoy the canapes as soon as possible. Anne Hathaway, on t'other hand, glides off serenely like an angelic swan exiting the water on a tide of grace.

"Look where I'm going? Don't be silly, the world moves for me."