If you've been vacationing on Mars over the past fortnight, you may not have heard of 50 Shades Of Grey. For the uninitiated: it's now officially the fastest selling book OF ALL TIME.

Here's some other news for you: it's totally crap. Imagine your girlfriend's shitty Jackie Collins novel with a bit of S&M thrown in for good measure, and you're about there.

Nonetheless, the chances are that if you have a girlfriend, or any female friends, or a mum (sorry), right now they're frothing over the literotic sensation.

Fear not, though: now's your chance to get back at them. Rather than wasting your day reading a second rate novel about spanking, you can read this month's FHM, where you'll find a guide to the 34 books you need to be reading on your summer hols.

The best thing about this feature? It's presented by the unbelievably fit Seren and Hannah. You can see a lot more pics of the both of them in this month's FHM, out now.