You know what our first reaction was when we watched this video? “When are they going to hurry up and get to the bit where Bar Refaeli and Candice Swanepoel wear bikinis?”

That was it. How thoroughly impatient of us. How ungrateful. What a shameful display of discourteousness. But that’s the trouble: we’ve grown up in a society which has taught us to not just expect everything, but to demand it, and to demand it not just right now, but 10 minutes ago. *Hangs head in pensive shame.*

(If you’re wondering, the point where they hurry up and get to the bit where Bar Refaeli and Candice Swanepoel wear bikinis is around 51 seconds in.)

Bar Refaeli
About bloody time

Bar Refaeli is the first to shed clothes and don bikini in the video. She’s sporting what the superimposed lettering tells us is the ‘Black Tie Collection’. Hmm, we fear she may have slightly misunderstood the concept of ‘black tie’.

Black tie is a dress code for formal evening events, and is worn to social functions. For a man, the major component is a jacket, known as a dinner jacket or tuxedo, which is usually black but is sometimes seen in other colours. Black tie for women can range from a short cocktail dress to a long evening gown, determined by current fashion, local custom, and the occasion's time.

Nowhere, literally NOWHERE there, can we see any mention of a skimpy bikini. Silly Bar Refaeli, you’re going to be left suitably red-faced next time you arrive at a swanky evening do.

Candice Swanepoel
Fair enough: that was ABSOLUTELY worth waiting for

FHM-favourite Candice Swanepoel pitches up around the 2:50 mark wearing the ‘Happy Hour Collection’. We think further miscommunication hath occurred – skimpy bikinis aren’t what we’d wear for happy hour at our local Wetherspoons. But then again, ‘happy hour’ at Wetherspoons ought to be renamed ‘hour that’s equally as miserable and depressing as every other hour’ hour.